The New Girl
by narutardedbandgeek
Summary: At the age of fifteen, Kiana's life is torn apart. She runs away from home, in search of the the infamous Akatsuki. How does she fare, letting go of everything to pursue a life unknown?I have to say, it's not bad. Please read and review!
1. The Beginning

**A/N: Ok. This is my first fanfic. I've been working hard to make it my best, so I hope you enjoy! **

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It's the morning before the mission, and I'm in the shower enjoying the hot-but-not-too-hot water. It's at just the right temperature that I've spaced off and now I'm taking my time in the shower, my mind on a certain blonde pyrotechnic and my red-headed puppet master. 

I hear the bedroom door open and my mind snaps back to the real world.

"Oh crap I must be running late!"

As I shut off the water and start to dry off, I can hear Deidara yell my name.

I yell back, "In the bathroom!" Because everyone knows bother me in the bathroom, and you're dead meat. Nonetheless, I hear footsteps coming towards the bathroom. I dry off faster, to be ready sooner. But then, the bathroom door opens.

"Oh shit! I forgot to lock the door!" I thought as I prepared for the worst.

"DEIDARA! GET YOUR SORRY ASS OUTTA HERE BEFORE I BEAT YOU SENSELESS!"

He let a mischievous chuckle escape his lips and I just know he's holding in laughter at my predicament. But little does he know. I am a ninja after all, prepared for any situation. My towel has buttons down the side and velcro to hold it on in case of emergency. I button up, double check the velcro, then peer through the smoked glass door preparing to launch my attack. Then I jump out of the shower, aiming a chakra-enhanced punch at his face.

There's a poof of smoke, and then I find myself bound in clay chains! Seeing the look of horror on my face, Deidara quickly explains Sasori made him make a batch of clay that DOESNT EXPLODE for when killing needs to be more inconspicuous.

I let relief wash across my face (the master of emotions that I am, I knew he wouldn't blow me up in the first place) then a look that plainly said "Ok, I give up, please let me go!" and took a step forward.

The moment the chains loosened I lunged forward and kneed him where it hurts.

Falling back against the door moaning he said, "Kiana, you're cruel."

My amusement quickly faded into pure rage, and I resumed my screaming.

"WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDA LISTENED WHEN I SAID STAY OUT! NOW GET YOUR BUTT OUTTA MY BATHROOM BEFORE I MAKE IT WORSE!" I said menacingly, pulling a kunai out from under the brushes and hair creams that disguised its hiding place.

"Ok, ok!! I'm leaving! but hurry up, we're already late and Sasori-danna's not going to be happy!" he said, mumbling curses and retaliations under his breath.

After he was back waiting in the Akatsuki living room, I began to dress in my standard issue Akatsuki outfit, and decided I would let my stick straight reddish-brown hair air-dry today since Deidara was in the living room about to burst from impatience. Or perhaps anxiety? This would be my first mission with him and his teammate Sasori.

...My hair was a result of a brown haired mother and orange haired father.

I grew up in Konoha, and my whole life I never knew the truth. For that fact, neither did most of Konoha.

My mother showed up at their doorstep fifteen years ago, pregnant and exhausted from a long journey. She made up some story to explain why she was there, I think it was something like being shunned from her own hidden village, and they let her stay, gave her medical treatment, and put her under close watch for any suspicious behavior.

But all that time she was only considerate and helpful, and most of all grateful for allowing her to stay there, away from her dark past.

Eventually she requested to become an official citizen, and they accepted. By that time she had a beautiful baby daughter, me, and everyone wondered who the father was because the baby had bright orange hair.

I grew up and went to the Academy; I seemed to have some natural ninja skills even though my mother was just a normal person.

And so it was that way, everyone was always curious about my father and I was just trying to fit in. My best friend was Shikamaru Nara, and we both loved to play Shogi and Go and games that require logical skills. By befriending Shikamaru I also came into contact with Ino Yamanaka and Chouji Akimichi quite frequently so we were friends too. I didn't spend much time with my own team; they came from proud clans of Konoha and were never quite accepting of the fact that I just showed up one day. We were a good team, just not friendly with each other.

When I became a chuunin, my mother told me that I should know the truth about our past, since I was his daughter anyway.

She told me I must never tell anyone, because it would be bad for him, for us, and we would both regret it our whole lives if the truth escaped.

I was the daughter of a man she said was rumored to be the Akatsuki leader.

After learning this, I was heartbroken. I felt ashamed to be related to someone like that.

And living in Konoha never felt quite right after that. I became distanced from my friends, but rather close to Naruto because I was deeply curious about the matter.

And one day, I disappeared. I left to seek my destiny, and the whole truth, since I now held a piece of it.

I'd done some digging, and felt I had a general idea of where to look for them.

And look I did.

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**A/N: OK! There's the first chapter. I've gone back and edited it, because my priority right now is to make my story better, and sometimes that means going back and changing stuff. **

**PLEASE review! I can't fix anything if you don't point it out. **


	2. The Mission

**A/N: Hey guys I'm a new author on this site and this is the reason I joined! I started writing this fanfic through an email and my buddy said it was good so when I discovered this site I decided to register and post my fanfic! **

**Hope you enjoy! Oh, and it's about a character I created and how she joins the Akatsuki and becomes like a subordinate to Deidara and Sasori. Or at least, that's how it started out lol. If you read up to the latest chapter, you'll see there've been some plot twists that I hadn't been expecting when I started writing. **

**I want to make it a little DeidaraxOC but we'll just see what happens. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Naruto but it would be totally kewl if I did. **

* * *

When we left for the mission, we decided to pack only one tent. The tents only hold two people, but why bring a whole extra tent for just one person? 

So there were some conflicts when we decided to make camp.

"Where am I supposed to sleep!"

"We only packed one tent, it's not that complicated I mean you only have one tent to choose from."

"But they only hold two people!"

The bickering continued, until an angry yell rang through the forest.

"LIKE HELL I'M SHARING A SLEEPING BAG WITH YOU, PERVERT!"

But when darkness fell, I realized I had argued for naught. Sasori took first watch. Only two people would be sleeping anyway.

"Jeez girl. How could you forget someone had to keep watch, un?" Deidara smirked and rolled over, facing away from me. I just lay with my arms crossed fuming and glaring at the ceiling.

The whole time Sasori had said little, occasionally muttering annoyed comments to himself.

Both of them knew the whole time that I had forgotten someone would stay up to keep watch, and I knew Deidara wouldn't let it go for a while.

But he wouldn't hit me with any jokes until after my anger has passed. There was no reason for unnecessary yelling, especially since it gives away our position.

Unlike them, I was probably only counted as an B-class criminal or less. I had left the village as a chuunin, and before I realized the truth about my father my dream was to be initiated as an ANBU captain. I was only a chuunin, but I was one of the best in my class. And a fierce fighter, but I need to work on stealth. I suppose that makes two of us though.

So while I traveled with my fellow Akatsuki members, I took some pointers from Sasori-sama about puppet mastery. I had chosen to bring only three of my ninjutsu books, I loved to study them and learn new techniques. I looked up to people like Kakashi, Orochimaru, and Itachi-san for their mastery of jutsus. So, during my travels I found studying with Sasori-sama quite a good way to pass time and develop my jutsu.

Deidara on the other hand, well I used him as comic relief. Though we bicker often, he's still fun to be around. I suppose it's a good thing Sasori was there, without him we'd probably end up in some bad situations. He's definitely the leader, no question about it.

* * *

That night, my sleep was constantly disturbed by the rocky landscape and nightmares about Akatsuki's leafy friend, Zetsu. 

When I was searching for the Akatsuki hideout, I figured that the first thing I would stumble across would be a trap or even an Akatsuki member in the flesh.

I was right about the latter.

I stumbled across Zetsu at about three in the morning; I couldn't sleep that night so I decided to continue traveling.

Needless to say, the following situation has haunted me ever since.

I am ashamed to admit that I begged and pleaded for the pain to stop...

I resorted to just spilling my story to the giant plant man, though I had been saving it to tell to someone who seemed more important.

I think there was a point where he paused to look at my face, but by that time I was nearly unconscious. I supposed he thought my story might be credible. Or perhaps he just had the tiniest pinch of mercy to spare within his disturbed soul. I don't know what it was that inspired him to leave me hanging onto a thread of life, and that small act was the sign that showed me I could have turned around and gone home a long way back. But that was no longer an option.

I was relieved when they told me I could go on a mission with Sasori and Deidara, and glad because the rambunctious blonde seemed a lot less intimidating than the others. Although they were all still pretty scary.

During that time I began to fantasize about what kind of adventures I could have with these people.

Kiana, Rogue Ninja. There was a whole world of possibilities under that title.

* * *

I began to wake up the next morning, but like every other morning I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. However, something moved next to me and I immediately reassessed my situation. 

Ok, that would put me in our tent, and what just moved is probably Deidara. Yawning, I sat up and tried to find a way out. The sleeping bag was horribly tangled from tossing and turning in my sleep, and I had a heck of a time getting out of it.

Eventually something pulled on the lip of the death trap and a breath of fresh air rushed in to meet me.

Blinking in the faint light now shining in I looked up at Deidara's sparkling blue eye.

"Don't laugh at me," I muttered in a half-asleep voice, embarrassed at how awful my hair must look. I am NOT a morning person.

"I didn't laugh. How did you sleep, un?" he said in a slightly solemn voice.

"Awful. The ground is rocky and there's no space in here." Not to mention the bad dreams. Like I was about to tell him about THAT.

"Hn. Well we need to get going soon, Sasori-danna is already pissed at me for not letting him wake you at sunup."

"Okay..." I slumped back down for a final moment of rest, then sat back up and finally got out of that sleeping bag.

We had slept in our clothes, only taking off the Akatsuki cloak and any weapons bags.

I threw on my cloak, but left it unbuttoned so I wouldn't overheat in the early autumn weather. The cloak had all my weapons hidden inside it, and my backpack on the floor was mostly packed and ready to go. I rolled up the sleeping bag and then transferred to the situation with my hair.

Eventually I gave up, and rummaged around in my bag for a hair tie. A hair tie...wait a minute I didn't pack any of those! Crap...

"Um, Deidara?"

"You forgot to pack a hair tie."

"Um, yes..."

Sighing, he pulled one out of his bag and sat down saying, "Only if I get to do your hair, hn."

"Whatever."

As he ran his fingers through my hair, I was surprised they didn't catch on the many knots and tangles caused by morning hair. He gently smoothed the worst of the tangles, and pulled my hair back into a ponytail just below the middle of the back of my head. He left out my bangs, but I suppose that's expected from Deidara.

"I wanted to do something interesting but your hair was sticking up everywhere and I decided it would look better just to pull it all back, un."

"Thanks!" For an S-class criminal, Deidara occasionally had a sweet disposition. But only occasionally.

Then Deidara got up and began to pack up the tent. I leaned back against a nearby tree and yawned.

"This Akatsuki schedule is even more exhausting then our B-rank missions."

Then Sasori spoke for the first time that morning.

"Well get used to it. This is way easier than many of the missions we're expected to complete. And help Deidara pack up the tent, we've waited here too long for you to get up. We need to leave as soon as possible," Sasori said.

"Yes, Sasori-sama."

Sasori replied with a noncomittal grunt and continued whatever he was doing. Probably repairing his puppets or something.

Deidara on the other hand, never treated Sasori with the same respect I did. Of course, it wasn't expected of him. I probably should have given Deidara and Sasori the same level of respect, but there was no way I could see Sasori and Deidara in the same light. Instead I treated Deidara, well, more like an upperclassmen at the Academy that I was friends with. Therefore less respect was required but a certain level of admiration was held in the fact that he was on a higher level than me.

Of course, if Leader had paired me with Kisame and Itachi, I'd probably act much more disciplined. Which was why I was glad to be with Deidara and Sasori; I can be much more relaxed around them.

"Hey, Kiana! Come on already! Help me with this tent, un!"

"Hm? Oh! Ok." I snapped out of my thoughts and walked over to help pack the tent.

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**A/N: Hey! So whaddya think? So ends the second chapter of my first fanfic. **

**So, I hope you liked it, un! GAH! 'so' overkill. I have a tendency to overuse one word, like 'but,' or 'though.' Or 'so' I guess. **

** hm, well, please review!   
**


	3. Trees and Clover

**A/N: Hey I finally got another chapter up. I hope you like it, it took me an afternoon's worth of effort. Luckily for me I had no homework today and my Muse happened to be there with a few feeble ideas. I'm just sort of taking this fanfic in no particular direction, but it appears to be going day-by-day on Kiana's first criminal mission. I wonder what will happen next?**

**Disclaimer: I wish very much that I was cool enough to own Naruto; sadly, I am not.**

* * *

The second day of the mission was progressing fairly peacefully on foot, until a tree dropped me. 

Ok, so the tree couldn't have dropped me. But I'm sure trees have intentions too. Because ninjas DO NOT fall out of trees. Of course I felt COMPLETELY stupid, especially now that I was stuck riding on one of Deidara's clay birds. Stupid twisted ankle...

And once again, Deidara would not let it go.

"I cannot BELIEVE you fell out of a tree," scoffed Deidara, this time not even bothering to hold back the occasional chuckle.

"I DID NOT FALL OUT OF A TREE!" I said, my voice oozing with hatred.

"Riigghhht," Deidara said sarcastically.

For about the second time that day, Sasori spoke up,  
"How did WE get dumped with this brat anyways?"

"I have no idea, un. Probably because we're the only ones that wouldn't kill her."

"WE? I think you mean YOU wouldn't kill her. Besides, if it weren't for you and your soft spot, I probably would."

I shrunk back at this sharp comment, hurt that I meant so little to the puppet master. Biting my lip, I no longer had the resolve to argue back.

"Look what you did, Sasori-danna," Deidara said, amusement still seeping through his voice.

I simply turned away from them, making my bronze hair like a barrier between us; I couldn't stand to look at their stupid faces.

"Why don't you just take me home then," I mumbled, not realizing I had actually said that out loud.

"That can be arranged," hissed Sasori, sounding for all the world like he wanted nothing better than to just dump me in a ditch somewhere, dead.

Deidara refrained from saying anything, I figured he thought the same thing, and we continued traveling in silence. If I had turned around I would've seen that he was concerned, but wouldn't speak out against Sasori.

Later that evening, when it was dark, we finally stopped in a small alcove for the night. We set up camp, with the still silence continuing to penetrate my despair. Feeling unwanted, I helped set up the small tent and then sat off to the side, hoping to be less of an annoying brat.

At the same time, I felt stupid for not realizing it in the first place. Why would a couple of S-class criminals want to be dumped with a little baby Chuunin to take care of?

We didn't light a fire that night; it was chilly but we couldn't risk being seen by anyone. It was Deidara's turn to keep watch, and he sat on the ground, leaning against a tree near the tent while Sasori slept. I watched him from the corner of the woods I had taken solace in, and eventually crept out to sit next to my blonde friend.

As though we were in on our own little inside joke, he smirked and winked at me and I knew he didn't think the same thing as Sasori.

Relieved to know I was wanted there, I sat with my blue-eyed sempai until the sun rose.

Even though I had dozed off a couple of times riding on his clay beast, that night I still dozed off more often than Deidara. Swallowed up by Dreamland, I dreamt of my friends back in Konoha, intermingled with dark figures the shape of Venus fly traps popping up in dark corners. I wondered what had happened after I disappeared from Konoha. Did they make as big of a deal about me as they made about Sasuke?

Disturbed, I shoved it behind me and made an internal pact to let the past go. Eventually.

"...Deidara-san, what was it like to leave everything behind when you joined Akatsuki?" There was a long silence, while he glanced down from his careful watch and thoughtfully pulled on a blade of grass.

"Well, I don't really remember, un," he trailed off, and I couldn't tell if he was just dodging the question or really couldn't remember. After a short silence, he expanded on his answer.

"Well, it was so long ago I don't even remember what life is like outside of this organization."

Another painstakingly long pause, and then he continued,

"I know what you're going through. Everyone hates you, for now. Sasori-danna'll get used to it. Don't let him bother you." Deidara kind of shrunk away from me then, as though embarrassed by this comment.

I looked down at the ground in front of me, and nodded solemnly.

But then I looked back up at his sparkling blue eye, and knew this Akatsuki life was not going to come easily. I was grateful to have a friend by my side. Thinking back, I realized Deidara must have had no one.

Glad that it didn't have to be that way for me, I pulled up a lonely white clover from the grass next to me and picked at its petals, once again drifting back to my past life, wishing Shikamaru could be here. Deep inside I regretted becoming so distant from him right before I left. I hadn't even said goodbye.

Little did I know, I would have yet another chance to see him. But it wouldn't happen just yet.

When I woke up the next morning, I noticed I had drifted off to sleep with my arm slung across Deidara's stomach, like I always hugged my pillow to sleep at home. His arm lay across my shoulder, and I didn't dare move, deciding whether I was annoyed at this habit of mine or annoyed at Deidara for not waking me up when this happened.

"Hey, loverbirds, get up, we're getting out of this place," I heard Sasori grunt disapprovingly from over where the tent was.

Deidara shook my shoulder, and whispered, "Kiana, wake up, we're leaving."

He spoke softly; I think he felt sorry for me. Sorry because he woke me up, sorry because I had to live this way, sorry because deep inside he knew how I felt. Lost, abandoned, and having second thoughts about leaving.

I got up, trying to make it convincing that I had just woken up, and hadn't been lying there awake. But I think he knew I had been pretending to still be asleep anyways.

We packed up the tent and moved on; once again I rode on one of Deidara's clay structures. However, this particular bird bore a striking resemblance to a dove...

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**A/N: Heh heh, so I FINALLY have a third chappy. Hope you liked it. Y'know, I really have nothing else to add. How strange. I must have exhausted all my thoughts in my writing.**

**Due to my lack of fans, I will do absolutely nothing and continue to write on my fanfic! Shame on those who stop writing just because they don't get enough reviews. (But, I still want you to review.) **


	4. Interlude

**A/N: Hey I guess this is another chapter, although it seems awfully short….**

**Hm. I meant for the plot to start to develop more here, but it seems like more of an short interjection to lead into where the story will actually start to get interesting. **

**Happy Reading! **

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Naruto. Don't we all?**

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Traveling with the Akatsuki was a truly exhilarating experience, but it got really annoying when no one would tell me where we were going.

They no longer allowed me to travel by foot, and sometimes Deidara would ride behind me on his majestic clay dove.

My twisted ankle didn't take that long to heal, considering my below par healing jutsu. I had hoped that one of them would have just healed it; being S-class criminals I figured they at least had _some_ form of medical training. I soon learned that they actually preferred I travel by explosive clay bird because it was much faster.

"Come on, Sasori-sama. Where are we going??" I pleaded. After a few days of this insistent begging I'm sure I must have been driving Sasori nuts, but he hadn't snapped at me again like he had that one day.

"…" Sasori, like always, refused to answer me this one question.

"…Deidara? Pleeeaaaase?" I begged, looking over my shoulder at my blonde companion riding behind me.

He simply grinned at me, as though he knew something I obviously didn't. Sasori just didn't want to tell me the details of their mission, but Deidara was truly enjoying the fact that he could taunt me by refusing to answer my question.

Normally I wouldn't whine so much at S-Class criminals, but I think being the Akatsuki Leader's daughter went to my head a little bit. And having nothing to do but ride on a stupid bird for days on end did not help.

I hated not knowing where we were going, but eventually I just learned to accept it.

The path we traveled became more and more dark, dangerous, and secluded as the days passed. I guessed we were going somewhere secret, because the area we were headed toward seemed highly unlikely to have any living human occupants.

Some areas were so difficult to get to that Deidara's bird could no longer pass through the thickly knotted tree limbs.

Leaving the clay dove behind, we forged ahead. I was back on my feet, and we moved as quickly as possible through the dense forest. The fact that my own pace was slower than that of Deidara and Sasori's became irrelevant when we were consistently being slowed down by the landscape.

After five straight days of wading through that area of nonexistent sunlight and thick, wet foliage, I got very sick and tired of traveling without a good reason to.

Just as I was about to demand once more that they tell me where we were headed, Sasori stopped and simply stated,

"We're here."

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**A/N: Well, there it is. My next update. I'm happy to be back for awhile, I'll continue to type as much as I can. I don't want to go on another however-many-months break. All I know about the upcoming chapter, The Test, is that there will be a sort of induction ceremony/Chuunin Exam-style test. (Or at least that's what I think I'll be typing.) Well, I would expand on that more but I don't want to give it away! **

**Well, until tomorrow! **

**rae**


	5. The Test

**A/N: Well, here it goes. Another chapter in the life of my OC, Kiana. This chapter was inspired by my illness. Today I woke up really really tired, I had a jazz band competition yesterday and then we went shopping in the afternoon. I figured this morning that I was just exhausted from walking around the mall, but after about a three hour nap I woke up feeling sick and I had a killer sinus headache and chills. I just laid around for a while, and then I thought, "ugh my aching head," and this idea just flew to me. **

**Enjoy!**

**Dedication: I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my blonde buddy who shares my sinus headache today. **

**Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. But I like to think that Deidara's heart belongs to me, sometimes.**

* * *

It all happened a split second too fast. 

All I heard was a leaf crunch and Sasori and Deidara both spun around; then there was a distinct _thud _and everything faded to black.

* * *

I don't know how much later it was when I came back to consciousness. 

The world was fuzzy around me, all I was aware of was how ill I felt.

_Ugh, my aching head_, I thought. My limbs were heavy and my head pounded like a big bass drum was pounding out a beat inside my brain.

I opened my eyes and blinked twice to see Deidara leaning over me.

"Sasori, she's awake," he stage-whispered to wherever Sasori was.

"Er em a," I mumbled, closing my eyes again.

"Ummm, Kiana?"

"Mph," I grunted, frustrated that he hadn't understood me, and stubbornly unwilling to speak again. It was too much effort, and not worth it. I had meant to say, "Where am I?" but that stopped being important when I couldn't even communicate clearly.

"Well, ok then," Deidara said, and after a short pause continued, "You were lucky Sasori knows his poisons. We were ambushed and the attacker targeted you first. It all happened so fast…" he trailed off, probably wondering how anyone managed to sneak attack us.

I didn't even give this a noncommittal grunt, and simply rolled over to face away from Deidara.

He gently squeezed my shoulder, and then I heard him get up and walk away.

Shortly after that Sasori towered above me. I rolled onto my back so he could administer medicine, or whatever he came over to do.

I opened my eyes wider than physically possible when I saw the huge syringe in his hand.

"This won't hurt. The dose of poison you got a few hours ago will block any signals of pain from being sent to your little brain."

I tried to frown at this, but I was more exhausted than I could even imagine. It was like I was nothing more than a soul within a broken body.

My arm felt cold as Sasori shot a huge dose of some kind of medicine into me. Instantly my headache felt much better, the cool liquid was soothing. As I drifted off into peaceful sleep, I saw Deidara standing over Sasori's shoulder, a look of concern on his face.

Even that small sign that he cared made my induced sleep comforting.

* * *

When I awoke again, there was no one standing above me. I rolled onto my side and opened my eyes to see where I was, finally. 

The room was dark, it appeared to be a sort of bedroom. I was lying on a small cot, and the room was fairly sparse other than a small book shelf and a table where Sasori had some tools laid out.

The thatched floor was dirty and worn from use, and a light shone from the crack under the door.

I sat up slowly and started to walk towards the door. I felt a little dizzy, but it didn't seem that bad so I kept walking.

Halfway there, the door opened and a dark outline filled up the space where the door had been. Bright light shining into my dark room caused me to see stars and sent shooting pains through my head.

As I started to fall forward, I felt Deidara's arms surround me as he rushed to stop me from hitting the floor.

I buried my face in his chest and just stood there, his warmth was comforting and I could hide my face from the bright light.

"_You_ are going straight back to bed," he said quietly.

I didn't say anything, and he put one arm around my shoulders and his other arm behind my knees and lifted me from the cold floor.

A few seconds later he gently lowered me back onto the cot, and began to walk away.

"Mmm," I moaned in protest, not wanting him to leave.

He closed the door halfway to block some of the light flooding into the room, then came back to sit beside me.

"What have you gotten yourself into, Kia-chan?" Deidara sighed, brushing my hair out of my face.

I simply stared at him, enjoying the sparkle in his blue eye, while I lay there on the cot feeling helpless.

Then I decided it would be the perfect time to find out exactly what the hell was going on.

"So, where are we anyways? You never told me," I said, surprised at my own voice. It sounded like I had eaten gravel; my voice croaked like it had been through a meat grinder.

Deidara smirked.

"Well, we're in a little hut in the mountains somewhere, hidden from the rest of the world."

I frowned at him, but he knew even before then that his answer wasn't what I had asked for.

"Ok then. I guess you have a right to know at least part of why we're here."

I just looked up and waited for him to continue.

"Well, you can't just be in the Akatsuki, just like that, un," he snapped his fingers, for emphasis. "We were already planning to come here though, to retrieve something, so Leader-sama decided to have us test you while we were here."

I stared at him flatly, daring him to expand on this "testing."

"We have to test your strengths and weaknesses, to decide what to do with you. Whether or not you will actually be inducted into Akatsuki is to-be-determined. Also, we will take blood tests to confirm you are in fact the daughter of the Akatsuki Leader. Lucky for you, Leader-sama decided to give you a chance. Your likeness to him is probably one of the only reasons we even remotely gave you a second thought."

He paused, seeming to think about what he was about to say.

"Well…normally…we would have just killed you."

Another pause. I didn't have anything to say to that, and I certainly hadn't given enough thought, before I set out on this little adventure to find the Akatsuki, to the fact that they might just kill me. I gained a huge level of gratitude at that moment for the fact that I was even alive.

"And I suppose the fact that you are only a chuunin is kind of obvious too, we considered the fact that you may have been pretending to be an amateur, but that's why you've been wearing that anklet this whole trip."

I was surprised by this comment. When did I put on an anklet?

I swiftly sat up and instantly the stars behind my eyelids almost put me out.

Deidara pushed me back down gently, though urgently, and said, "What are you thinking? You shouldn't be doing Anything right now!"

"Mph," I was frustrated again, and flustered by how close his face was to mine, but I tried to reach down towards my ankle.

"Ah, I forgot you didn't know about that…" Deidara took his hands off my shoulders, walked over to the table and picked something up, and then he came back and sat down again.

"Here," he handed me a string of beads.

It had small beads that looked like stones, and one larger stone had a kanji symbol on it.

"It's a seal, and it's been repressing a large part of your chakra. I guess we must have put it on you while you were still out cold."

Fascinated by the arrangement of small stones, I wasn't even frustrated at the realization that during some point after I stumbled across Zetsu in the forest I had been out cold for long enough for them to make an anklet to suppress my chakra.

Then Sasori spoke from the doorway.

"Deidara, is she awake yet?"

"Well, conscious, but she's still pretty pale. She won't be going anywhere anytime soon."

"Hmph. This is going to slow us down."

Sasori shuffled away from the doorway.

Deidara obviously wanted to argue with Sasori about something, but he simply shook his head and looked back down at me.

"I hate this," I murmured, once again annoyed at my croaky voice.

"Yeah. I know what you mean. One time, I was on a mission with Sasori, when we got into an argument and I stepped on one of his stupid poisonous weapons. I was out of commission for a few days while Sasori decided whether or not to give me the antidote."

He paused, smiling faintly, lost in a memory.

"…When I finally got better, I wanted to kill him," Deidara said, "But if I didn't have someone to drive insane on our missions, I would probably go insane myself."

I smiled at this, enjoying just sitting there, listening to his voice.

Then I winced at jolt of pain through my right arm.

"Sasori-danna's painkiller must be wearing off. I should go get him so he can give you more."

I looked down, sad because this meant I would probably have to go back to my dreamland.

He looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, and went to go find Sasori.

I closed my eyes and was back in Dreamland before Deidara came back.

* * *

Yet again I woke up from an induced sleep to find myself in the same room, on the same stupid cot. 

This time I felt better though, my head didn't ache so much and I held my left hand up to my face to test my range of movement. I was surprised to find a bandage on my ring finger.

I slowly sat up again, this time being more careful, and looked down at myself. I was wearing the loose-fitting gray slacks and mesh shirt that go underneath my Akatsuki cloak, along with the white shirt with a square neck line that I wear over the revealing mesh.

On my right arm there was a bandage, wrapping around my upper arm just above the elbow. I assumed this was where a dart or poisoned weapon had stricken me. The spot was tender, and I decided it must have been a kunai in the arm that had required the kind of bandage that nearly cut off all the circulation in my arm, I could hardly move it.

Underneath the door, the faint light that shone through was daylight now, rather than torchlight as it had been earlier.

The door creaked open, and Sasori walked in to check on me.

When he saw that I was sitting up he asked,

"So, are you up finally?"

"I suppose…" I said, my voice still weak.

"You should try to stand up."

He came over to help me slowly attempt to rise from the cot. I felt tired, but I was able to stand up without becoming dizzy.

"Come sit at the table in the other room, so I can finish treating your wounds," Sasori said, seeming annoyed at me.

I was sure he still hated me, but at least he had a reason to heal me. He couldn't exactly leave me behind to die, because that would be against the mission he was assigned. However, I could tell he hated being slowed down even more.

He walked out the door, and stood in the doorway, waiting for me to follow. I slowly ambled forward, also hating the situation. I don't appreciate being hated for an injury that wasn't my fault. However, I didn't place blame on anyone because I hadn't been there at all there would have been no injury.

I sat down at the table where he indicated, and he changed the bandage on my arm, applying various bottles of drops and pastes onto the wound.

I was horrified by the wound itself, it was a deep gash along my upper arm surrounded by purple, green, and yellow bruised skin. It looked like a horribly infected cut. It smelled like rotting flesh, and I wondered why I hadn't noticed it before and what kind of poison caused a wound like that. Soon it started to bleed, and I was worried for what kind of damage the poison had done to my arm.

"Um, Sasori-danna?" I said, worried to make him angry by asking questions.

"What?" he answered, that one word short and abrupt. It made me want to say nothing at all, but I continued anyways.

"Well, what exactly happened to my arm?"

He paused before answering, and said, "A poisoned kunai struck your arm and severed the muscle…the poison the attacker used is popular among assassins and is designed to infect you with flu-like symptoms and, if not promptly treated, will develop into a deadly disease that would eventually have killed you."

I took a moment to absorb this, and then looked up and asked,

"But why?" I didn't understand why assassins would be after me, I could understand someone being after the Akatsuki, but there was no making sense out of why they targeted me.

"We aren't really sure. They may have hoped we would leave your body behind, or they may have thought you were of some importance to our mission. We caught a glimpse of him before we left, and we don't think he's from Konoha, nor do we believe Konoha has any ninjas that would've been able to track us here."

I took another moment to think about this, and then decided very suddenly that I did not feel safe here.

"When are we leaving?" I asked urgently, hoping that we wouldn't have to stay here much longer.

"Tonight or tomorrow morning. Our mission will be cut short, because we couldn't fully test your abilities, but we can't risk staying here much longer."

"_Fully_ test? But you haven't tested me at all."

"While you were out cold, I took a blood sample."

At that, I looked down at my left hand, realizing why my finger was bandaged. I also realized that the test revealed the truth about my parentage, and I suddenly worried that my mother may have been wrong, what if I wasn't related to the Leader at all?

I looked up, waiting for him to continue, a grave look on my own face as I waited to hear the results.

"…Yes, you are Leader-sama's daughter."

I felt relief at this, knowing for sure was reassuring, and it was another step into my new life.

Sasori made a pinched face at his deduction, as though he was disgusted that their leader had a child. He was just finishing wrapping a new bandage around my cut when Deidara came in.

"I finished collecting…" he trailed off when he saw me sitting at the table.

"So you're finally up huh?" He smiled. Well, at least someone was happy that I was better.

"Good," Sasori said, "Now we can leave as soon as possible."

Nobody said anything for a little bit, while we just took a minute to appreciate the fact that we would all be able to leave soon.

"Wait, collecting what?" I asked.

"Sorry, official Akatsuki business. You're not legit yet," said Deidara.

"Aw," I whined, trying my puppy eyes on Deidara.

"Nope. That look won't work on me," he insisted, yet quickly looked away from my face.

Sasori, all business, continued, "Kiana, you will have to ride on something, you shouldn't be able to travel with that injury. Deidara, you will have to make something that can navigate through this area."

Deidara nodded, and I could feel us moving onto a new phase of our journey. Getting to the destination is only half of the mission. There was still the journey back home, the path treacherous with potential enemies unknown.

But I felt safe, under the careful watch of Deidara and the medical treatment of Sasori.

And so began a new chapter of my new life.

* * *

**A/N: Wow! That chapter turned out WAY different than I thought it would. I decided to stop typing since it was hitting six pages, I think this is my longest chapter yet…**

**Well, once again, hope you enjoyed!**

**Please review, I love hearing from my readers, like any author out there. **

**rae-chan**


	6. Another Interlude: Second Thoughts

**A/N: Well, here I am again. Third time this week, I'm already onto another chapter. I thought of this one last night. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own naruto. **

**Dedication: I dedicate this chapter to my five reviewers, iluvkiba44, Starchii, of the beginning and the end, Artistic Eloquence, and Demonreaper13. Congratulations on being my first five readers who _actually_ took the time to review.**

* * *

Now that we were back on the road heading safely for home, Deidara dropped the serious facade and went back to the teasing, carefree man I remembered. 

Sasori was doubly annoyed, but I was pleased at the humorous distraction from the sling that held my arm immobile while a few ligaments were still healing.

Unfortunately, the kind of antidote that the poison required affected my reflexes, thoughts, and ability to walk. It made me dizzy, and I didn't have the strength it would take to travel through the mountainous terrain. At the bottom of my fuzzy thoughts was the vague concept that whatever slipped out of my mouth during the time it took for my wound to heal, would probably embarrass me beyond all else.

Deidara attempted to create a clay figure that was supposed to be able to get through the thick foliage of the mountains, but that plan failed. After we left the struggling creature behind, Deidara simply decided to carry me instead.

While my thoughts slipped around in my head like oil, I tried to remain conscious of what was going on around me.

"You are so accident prone, Kiana," Deidara laughed, thoroughly enjoying my predicament. He quickly jumped at the chance to take advantage of my weakness. Without my dominant arm, and with an altered thought perception, it became extremely difficult to slap him when he picked on me.

"So, do I have to help you bathe and stuff now that you're a cripple?" he prattled on cheerfully, earning himself a feeble punch in the chest.

"No, you pervert. And just for that, I'm not naming my children after you anymore," I meant to snap, but the words slurred together.

"You were going to name your children after me?" he asked, credulous.

"No. I just wanted to see that look on your face."

He laughed openly, and the tenor peals rang out through the trees, in harmony with my own soprano, drug-inspired giggles, and the occasional hiccup.

Sasori grumbled something incoherent, peeved that we were enjoying ourselves.

"Why does Sasori always act like that?" I whispered to Deidara, still giggling.

"It's a long story," he replied with a sigh, and simply left it at that.

I didn't feel the need to pry into that, however, it sparked a seed of curiosity that would one day have to be quenched.

But right at the moment, I didn't possess the attention span to hold onto that thought for very long.

I was barely aware of the fact that I was acting like a complete fool around people I needed to impress. And I should probably have acted more mature around rogue ninjas that could dispose of me without a second thought.

I started to feel useless, I had done nothing for Akatsuki so far except cost them a few doses of a rare antidote and some serious painkillers. But soon it would be my time to shine, I would prove my worth.

But that could wait until I was back on my feet.

The journey back to the Akatsuki hideout was fairly uneventful. The assassin never reappeared, and Sasori was suspicious about the peace. It was like the silence before the storm to him, but I didn't see any reason to be worried. Of course, I was flanked by two S-Class rogue ninjas, and my blurred thoughts stopped me from ever thinking things through to their consequences. On top of that, I probably didn't understand the severity of the original mission Sasori and Deidara were sent on.

After a few days, smaller doses of antidote and painkiller were needed, and I came back to my senses.

Of course I was embarrassed to death by Deidara.

"Haha, you were going to name your kids after me, un," Deidara laughed, even more amused now that he could rub all of the "oh-my-god did I really say that out loud?" moments in my face.

By then, I was extremely sick of being carried. The original rush of joy, at being carried to the Akatsuki hideout by the man in my life who was replacing the hole left behind in Konoha with Shikamaru, had been amazing, but now I was left to deal with the baggage. For however many miles he had born my weight, while I was barely conscious and couldn't walk in a straight line. I felt like I owed him something, for being nothing but dead weight.

I tried to remain positive as long as possible. However, Sasori's suspicious mood was contagious. Soon, I too found myself jumping at the crunching of a leaf, or the scurrying of small animals while I was trying to sleep.

One night, after a day of a sort of lopsided hobble through the trees, attempting to run beside Deidara, we finally passed through enough clearing to know that the next day I would be able to travel by bird.

* * *

As Deidara and I lay awake in the tent, staring at the blue canvas sky, I thought about what I could do to be something worth the amount of Sasori's time that I wasted in this organization. 

I made an internal pact to study up on my jutsu books when we got back, hopefully they wouldn't send us back out on any missions right away, because I wanted to appear intelligent by their standards. I also decided to amp up the training, even though I would hate it. Maybe Deidara could train with me, it would feel less like everyone was watching me and judging my shinobi skills, which could hardly be compared to theirs.

"So, why did _you_ leave everything behind to come join this," Deidara suddenly asked, gesturing to the worn tent and dirt that was becoming the signature of my new life, and turning my own question back around on me.

"Well. That's a good question," I said, this time being the one in control of the suspenseful pauses. I had to think about it for awhile to put my exact feelings into words.

"Hm. I guess, I just felt like I didn't belong in Konoha anymore. Like I had some kind of mark that set me apart from anybody else. Even if no one else knew or saw it on the outside, on the inside I had to live with knowing I didn't belong there."

"Hn. What exactly did you leave behind anyways?"

"Well, mostly my mom, and my best friend Shikamaru…" I trailed off then, once again lost in the memories of him and the what ifs that I had left behind, choosing a different path, an even bigger What If.

But I soon returned from Spaceworld when I realized Deidara was staring at me, waiting for me to continue.

"…Sometimes I wish I had said goodbye…Explained myself a little bit."

Pause.

"I guess no one saw it coming. One of those 'It's so obvious, why didn't I see it?' things. I stopped talking to Shikamaru, and pretty much anyone else, and now I regret not telling them anything…not even giving them some warning."

Once again, Deidara sat in silence, just waiting and watching.

I grew annoyed of his unresponsiveness, even though he was a better listener than most guys. It reminded me of Shikamaru, which is crazy because he and Deidara are pretty much total opposites!

I sighed and rolled over, "Is that enough yet? Or do you want the entire story of my life?"

"You miss him don't you." Definitely one of those 'statement-not-a-question' things.

This drew another huffy sigh from me, "Yeah…I guess…"

"Hn," Deidara hummed, as though to confirm his thoughts.

"Well, do you want to go back?"

"N-…Well, heck no but I sure miss them…"

"Wanna see them again?" Deidara asked, setting me up for something I was not prepared for.

"Whaddaya mean?" I asked, surprised by his sudden show of interest.

"Well, um, when we get back Sasori will be going solo on a mission just for him, and I have some time off before he'll get back. I could, well, take you, un…"

This hit me like a train hitting a brick wall, which then smashed both to pieces. I wasn't sure if this was what I wanted though, what if I saw them and wanted to go back? That couldn't happen, every aspect of my decision to run away was irreversible.

But still, the lure was tempting.

"Hey, are you gonna answer me, un?"

"Oh," I snapped out of my thoughts, "Um, I don't know."

"Well, you can think about it while we travel tomorrow."

"Mkay," I said, still unsure of what to believe. This offer made absolutely no sense.

After that we didn't talk anymore, and I fell asleep long after he did, my thoughts chasing each other around in my head.

_Maybe he just wants to dangle it in front of my nose, and then pull it back away from me. _

_But that doesn't seem like him. Maybe they want to use me as bait for something? But that's crazy, what purpose would that serve? _

And then there was the inevitable: _What if someone saw us there? What would we do? What do they think of me in Konoha, am I a traitor, or dearly missed?_

And my personal favorite, yet least comfortable with: _Maybe he just wants to get me alone? _

That thought existed in the deepest realm of my imagination, and I had no idea what to make of it. Was that what I wanted? Was it even remotely possible? It seemed highly unlikely, I mean, he's a rogue ninja, since when do they have feelings for anything?

Eventually, I pushed all my thoughts to the back of my head, besides, I'd have all of the next day to think about it.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry, this feels like a cutoff ending but I ran out of inspiration. Plus this seems like a good place to end it right now. **

**And, sorry if all of this is too boring, I mean to add in some more action soon! **

**Action is fun. Happy Reading!**

**rae-chan**

**PS: If anyone is confused, I have decided to clarify. After Kiana arrived at the Akatsuki Hideout (in this fanfic they have a hideout, ok) there were a few weeks during which she spent recovering from her venus flytrap incident. She was pretty much out cold that whole time. Then they decided to send her with Sasori and Deidara, who already had a mission to retrieve the item that Deidara wouldn't tell Kiana about, and she had no part in the mission except to experience an Akatsuki mission. This is because the mission was supposed to be a little bit of a lower danger level so they could focus more attention on Kiana, and learn about her. So, added to the original purpose of their mission, to retrieve what they went to get, they were going to test Kiana, but they didn't have time. **

**So yeah. Ick, uber-long A/N. Sorry guys! **


	7. Torn

**A/N: Haha, I'm excited about this chapter. Happy reading! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto….but I own Kiana! yay.**

**Dedication: I dedicate this chapter to frances. Thanks to you, I can't think about anything else.**

* * *

It was the final day of travel before we arrived back at the Akatsuki Hideout. 

Deidara kept looking over at me with concern, I had been in a funk since he offered to take me home, but after I looked him in the eye he seemed reassured and we continued to glide through the trees in silence.

I was able to ride on a clay bird the rest of the way to HQ, and I spent most of the ride holed up in my mind, staring blankly off into the distance. I may have seemed like an empty shell to anyone else, but my mind was buzzing with thoughts.

_Hm, well, in the end I guess all the risks of going back are countered by the fact the Deidara IS Akatsuki, I'm sure he can handle keeping me safe and away from any ANBU defenses or whatever Konoha would counter our appearance with. _

By the time we got back to headquarters, I was leaning towards agreeing with Deidara and going back to Konoha, but I wasn't ready yet.

_Why do we need to go back? It would only hurt. It would be like...like looking at my family and friends through a glass pane but not being able to do anything about it. Maybe I could wait for one of the other chuunins to go out on a mission? I could meet with them in private, and make sure Deidara stays back so they don't get even more suspicious than necessary. _

These thoughts rattled around in my head even as I tried to sleep at night. At the Akatsuki Lair, or so to speak, it didn't have a name, I slept in a small room down a dark hallway, across the hall from Itachi's room. The rooms in the Akatsuki hideout contained little of significance, as their inhabitants spent more time out on the road traveling than just staying at home doing nothing.

The bland décor of my room consisted of black walls, a small bed in the corner, that also had black sheets, and a little vanity with a mirror that Deidara had dug up specially for me.

As I sat at the vanity, painting my fingernails the deep purple I had grabbed off my old vanity at home before I left, I glanced up at the mirror to see a tattered reflection staring back at me.

I looked like I had been through a meat processor, the days had not done me well. My skin was pale, and small scratches littered my face. The bandage on my arm covered the damage that remained there, but bruises and dirt still remained on the rest of my figure. My eyes looked hollow, the dark marks underneath them enhancing the tortured look on my face.

I was surprised at the shell of a person looking back at me, especially because my reflection didn't match the way I felt on the inside. I felt confident on the inside, but my reflection looked tired and lost. It rose an insecurity in me, I found myself once again questioning if I had made the right choice. Between Konoha and Akatsuki, I had chosen danger, and adventure. I had taken a chance, leapt off a cliff without hesitation, and my body had come out of it battered and bruised.

Still feeling insecure about how I was surviving the hard life, I looked back down at my fingernails. The second layer was almost done drying, and in the darkness of my underground room the rich purple looked almost black. I smiled at the original twist I had put on the traditional Akatsuki black fingernails.

Then the door cracked open, and Deidara looked in.

When I looked up at him, I raised my eyebrows, as if to say, "Why are you here?"

After taking my eye contact as permission, he came into my room and lay down on my bed.

The silence was thick as we both just sat there, with nothing to say.

"So are you coming with me or not?" Deidara broke into the silence, and it shattered like glass. As I replied, I glanced up at my mirror, half expecting it to crack.

"Huh?"

"Well, I'm still going even if you don't want to come. But if you don't come you'll be stuck here by yourself," Deidara said.

"I thought you were just offering to take me back? What do you have to go there for?" I asked, noticing that we were tiptoeing around actually saying the word 'Konoha,' as though it was poisoned and you might burn your tongue if you actually said it.

"Well, I can't exactly tell you now."

I didn't say anything to that, suddenly angry and disappointed that his trip to Konoha had nothing to do with me.

"Well, I can't exactly decide since I don't know why I'd be going," I spat, my voice full of spite.

Deidara sighed, then gave in.

"Ok, I have to go spy on the Jinchuuriki."

"WHAT!" This realization did not make me feel any better. He was going to go spy on Naruto! Naruto was practically my family, like an older brother to me. How could I not realize what this organization was after? I believed that Akatsuki would never get Naruto, but I never thought about how I'd have to accept that they would certainly try.

In anger, I stood up and ran out of the room, down the hallway, and out the door.

"Wait!" I heard Deidara call on my way out of the room, but I didn't stop running until I was hidden deep in the trees that surrounded the hideout. Perched on a branch high above the ground, I watched the door of the hideout as silent tears streamed down my face at the thought of my new friends killing my guardian angel. Naruto was there for me when I needed a friend more than ever.

I was close enough to the hideout to hear Kisame's booming voice tease Deidara about me.

"What did you do to her, anyways?" Kisame laughed, enjoying Deidara's angst.

I saw Deidara's face when he drudged out the Akatsuki front door, confused and defeated. He turned around and went back inside, leaving me in silence.

Later I saw Deidara walk off into the forest, kicking stones out of his way and looking gloomy. With him out of the house, I decided to venture back inside.

It was fairly dark in the fading daylight, and a few candles were already alight throughout the big confinement. I suppose it was more like a confinement than a house…it was just more gloomy and showed a lot less signs of inhabitation than a house would.

I plopped down on the small couch in the "living room," which was small and cramped with a couch, two chairs and a wooden table.

My notepad lay on the wooden table in front of me where I'd left it, and I snatched it up, pencil in hand, to record the quiet whisperings of the darkened house.

I hadn't written in the notebook since the day before I left Konoha.

---

Flashback

"Kiana? Can I talk to you?" my mom called from the living room.

I walked out from my bedroom and sat down on the couch, wondering what she wanted.

"What?"

"Honey, lately you've been really distant, what's going on? Is there something happening that I need to know about?"

I paused for a minute, feeling guilty, caught in the act, surely she didn't know about my plans to run away?

"Nothing's wrong," I said, a little too coldly, because this answer didn't satisfy the concerned look on her face.

"Are you sure? What about Shikamaru? You haven't talked to him in a long time."

Once again, I wasn't quite sure what to say.

"I've been really busy with my training. Plus, I've been talking to Naruto a lot and haven't had time to see Team 10."

"Really, I think there's more than that you're not telling me."

Anger swelled up inside me, why couldn't she just leave it be?!

"Well, maybe I wouldn't be an antisocial misfit if I had grown up in my own village, in a real family! I don't have a father, and I don't have a normal life! I haven't had anything a normal person is supposed to have! My teammates don't even like me!"

With this I stomped off to my room, leaving my mom sitting on the couch, staring at the floor with a sad look on her face.

End Flashback.

---

Back then my reaction had been childish, but it helped me break away from my home completely in the end.

I had written down all of my anger and spite in the notebook I now held in my hand, and now I was again going to write my troubles in it's pages.

Whenever I was troubled, I poured my heart out to my notebook, drew pictures, and recorded anything I felt inspired to in my book of memories.

The storm going on inside me raged while the stillness of the house contradicted my innermost feelings.

As I stared at the blank page, ready to record all my confused feelings, I heard the back door crack open. It had begun to rain outside, and in walked Deidara, dripping with rainwater.

I just stared at him, and got up and walked right out the front door. I memorized that one moment when the confused look on his face registered in my mind. Trying not to run, I walked right up to a big tree and leaned my forehead against it, hugging myself. It was pouring by then, and I didn't hear Deidara walk up behind me.

I felt his arms encircle my waist and I started in surprise. He hugged me and whispered in my ear, "I'm sorry."

I turned around and threw my arms around his neck, trying not to cry again, fighting for control of my feelings. Naruto's life was of nearly equal value to me as my companionship with my new partners in crime. What had I done? Why did I leave it all behind for this?

Deidara hugged me back, and asked if we could please go back inside. The water was pouring down both of our faces now, and I nodded, tired of trying to walk away from the fate I had entangled myself in.

Deidara walked me back to my room, and I laid down on my bed for awhile, calming down and shoving my feelings aside before showering and changing into clean clothes.

Later that evening there was a mini Akatsuki gathering. The only other people at the hideout were Itachi, Kisame, and Zetsu, and there wasn't much to talk about so we all just sat in the living room while time passed by.

After a while I noticed the other members giving each other looks, having a nonverbal conversation that I wasn't in on. Frustrated that I wasn't included in whatever they were all thinking about, I just got up and went to my room so they could talk out whatever they couldn't say in front of me.

When I got back to my room my notebook and pen were lying on my bed, and I remembered I hadn't written anything in it yet.

As I sat down and began to write, I heard hushed voices in the living room, muffled by the walls between Them and Me.

I wrote about the craziness of my adventure, of being targeted by an unknown assassin, of missing Shikamaru. Of my confused feelings for Deidara. Of my frustration at not being official, because I obviously wasn't in the confidence of the other members yet. And also, of my regrets. I regretted fighting with Mom, I regretted choosing Akatsuki over Naruto, and I regretted not leaving any clues behind, not making sure I would have a way out if I needed one. Lastly, I felt guilty for not wanting to go back to Naruto, Shikamaru, and my mom in Konoha. Truth was, I liked being in Akatsuki. No matter what, it seemed like I would perpetually be torn in two.

When I had written until there was nothing left inside of me, I laid down and went to sleep. The depth of what I had written was exhausting.

* * *

It must have been the early hours of the morning, when I awoke to the sense of a presence leaning over my bed. 

When I stirred, I struggled to open my groggy eyes.

"Kiana, are you awake?" I heard Deidara whisper.

"Mph," I mumbled. _Yeah, kinda, _I thought.

"I'm leaving now. Be good for Itachi," he said, and my eyes shot open.

"Wha-" I started, but before I could say anything his lips stopped the words from coming.

It was short and sweet, probably the longest five seconds of my life.

Then he walked away, and I couldn't do anything. I wanted to run after him, and keep him from leaving. But I was stunned, and my body wouldn't listen to my mind screaming, _Go on! Run after him!_

The next morning, he was gone. I was left alone in the hideout with Itachi and Kisame, and I had no clue what to do or say. So I resolved to just wait until one of them came to me. Staying out of the way and pretending to be invisible are always good alternatives to forced interaction.

Sasori had left to go on his other mission shortly after we arrived at the hideout, so he wasn't even around. I was left all alone in a house of strangers.

I was lying on my bed doodling pictures of Akatsuki members in my notebook, when Itachi appeared at my door.

"Kiana," he said, waiting for my attention.

I put my pencil down and looked up into his slate gray eyes. I wanted to ignore him and keep wallowing in self pity, but I let it go. Sort of.

"…Yes?" I said.

"We're going down to the training grounds. You need to come along so we can test your abilities," he stated, and waited for me to get up before turning around and moving to go back down the hallway.

"I'll be just a minute," I called down the hallway after him.

There was no reply from Itachi, so I assumed he had heard me. I changed into calf-length pants and my white shirt; I had been wearing a set of pajamas. I decided to leave behind the cloak for now, because it would be easier to move in battle without it.

I strapped on my kunai pouches, along with a pouch of throwing needles and shuriken. I brushed my sandy red hair up into a bun to keep it out of my face.

It had been a while since my abilities were challenged in battle, and I hadn't been training recently because of my injuries. I did a few warm-ups to get accustomed to using my chakra again, to make sure I wouldn't be rusty from all the rest in the past few days.

My first attempts failed, but I remembered the chakra seal tied around my ankle. I leaned down and took it off, surprised that nothing held it on.

_How careful are these Akatsuki guys anyways, if it's that easy to take off my chakra seal?_

Now that I was free to use my chakra, I first attempted to walk up the wall and stand upside down on the ceiling. Then I hung from the ceiling by my fingertips to exercise focus in small areas. However, my upper arm twinged, and I decided to change the bandage so I could check on my injury.

It was still purple, but the cut had finally scabbed over. The terrible smell had faded, too. I went over to my vanity to get the antidote that Sasori had left me, and a clean bandage. Before I put on the bandage, I decided to put on some of the painkiller also, since I would be using my arm.

When I was all ready to head out, I looked at myself in the mirror again. I can say I didn't look much improved. But after the trauma of the night before, I had recoiled into my mind and pushed my feelings aside. It was way too much drama to deal with.

I sighed and sat for a second, thinking about what a mess I had gotten myself into, and then finally got up to head outside.

Kisame was waiting for me in the kitchen.

"Where have you been? It's been nearly ten minutes. Itachi-san already went outside," he said.

I just looked at him, and he shrugged and turned to go out the door.

With another sigh, I followed him outside.

My training was about to begin.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, I'm wrapping up this chapter. Jeez, six pages! My ideas usually come to me when I'm waking up on a morning, when I actually have time to just lay around and daydream. Unlike my other chapters, this one took three or four sittings to complete! And then there was the edit I just did to make it a little better. I added the flashback an stuffs. **

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Please review :D**

**rae-chan**


	8. Pushed Aside

**A/N: Ok. Short A/N. I finished another chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

I walked out the door to follow Kisame to the training grounds. It was almost noon, and in the crisp fall weather the leaves were blowing in the trees and the cool breeze was still moist from a morning dew.  
We headed down a path that was covered with ferns and brush, hidden well from my eyes. I relied on Kisame to lead me to the right place.  
My mind, normally wandering in silences such as the one between me and Kisame, was quiet. I was surprised at the disturbing peace caused by the silenced hum of thoughts I normally had.  
When we stepped out into a clearing, I saw Itachi waiting for us. He rose from the ground where he sat, and walked over to us.  
"While we test you, you will be expected to show us agility, accuracy, strategy, and strength. We will do things in stages, and then at the end you will spar with Kisame to test everything in action."  
I nodded, and asked, "What first?"  
"First, go stand in the center of the clearing," Itachi said.  
I walked out to the center, and pulled out a kunai in my right hand. The hair on my neck stood up, I was on my guard because Itachi had put me in the most exposed place in the whole clearing.  
"Kisame and I are going to hide in the area surrounding this clearing, and you have to find us without moving from that spot."  
I smirked, this was a simple first test. I imagined what Naruto would do, probably flip out because he wouldn't realize that he would have to use something other than his eyes to find them.  
When Itachi and Kisame disappeared, I closed my eyes and reached out tendrils of chakra and did a quick sweep of the surrounding area, searching for their chakra signatures. I reacted in mild surprise when I found several chakra signatures.  
_I have two options, I have to find a way to distinguish between the clones and the real ones, or I can waste kunai and throw one at each chakra signature. _  
Deciding to take a guess, I threw kunai at three of the chakra signatures I sensed. I heard three poofs, and stayed on guard, knowing I had guessed wrong.  
In a matter of several seconds, I felt the ground rumble behind me and found myself in a choke hold secured with a kunai before I was able to calculate what had occurred.  
"You're dead," Kisame said.  
Itachi appeared before me, and said, "Always check beneath you as well as around."  
I was disappointed to be felled so easily, and it seemed so elementary a thing to forget.  
"Next, you have to dodge kunai. We have set up a trap around here, and after Kisame and I back out of the area, we will release the kunai. You will not use weapons to defend yourself, this is simply an agility test to measure how fast you can move as well as how well you can dodge kunai."  
I nodded once again, and readied myself to observe the area. Looking around, I noticed the kunai trap was hidden well. I couldn't see anything. But when I reached out with my chakra, I noticed the alignment of chakra strings that criss-crossed the clearing.  
Sliding back into my defensive pose, I waited for Kisame and Itachi to move back.  
After they disappeared, it was nearly a full minute before I hear the thwip of a kunai being released. Quickly targeting the area it came from, I dodged to the left. Immediately as I moved I heard more thwipping sounds, and looked around to see three kunai coming at me from the left, and two kunai coming down at an angle behind me.  
I jumped to the right and back, and immediately I heard several thwipping sounds as an innumerous amount of kunai began to fly at me from all directions.  
I performed a complicated series of dodges, but soon I was in midair after dodging several kunai, and could do nothing to avoid a single kunai coming towards me at a deadly angle. I ducked my head and arched my back and felt the kunai graze across the small of my back, causing a stinging pain.  
But I blinked away the pain, imagining what it would've felt like if that kunai had punctured my stomach.  
Landing on the ground, I crouched and decided to leap behind a tree to avoid several more kunai flying in my direction.  
The amount of kunai flying through the air at that point was insane, but I had no choice but to venture out from behind the tree so I could prove myself.  
Moving as fast as I could, I dodged and parried kunai until I felt a ripping puncture wound beneath my shoulder blade. _What?! They added senbon into the mix???_  
I was surprised at this unmentioned obstacle, and quickly spun around and dodged to the right as the thin throwing needles became visible from a different angle. Realizing that the patterns of kunai were becoming more sporadic and difficult to avoid, I returned to the shelter of the trees until there was a simultaneous POOF and all of the kunai and throwing needles disappeared.  
I realized that the kunai were genjutsu illusions that Itachi configured, and the chakra strings I thought were loosing hundreds of kunai at me were set to trick me into guessing the wrong patterns, which made dodging all of the kunai more difficult.  
Itachi and Kisame once again appeared in the center of the clearing, and called me out from behind the tree.  
I realized also, that the senbon that struck me in the shoulder had been an illusion also.  
_But it hurt…_I thought, cursing the illusions master.  
Now, the fact that Deidara hadn't crossed my mind at all in the time that had gone by surprised me. I didn't have much time to consider this thought though, as Itachi was already moving onto the next test.  
The next test was a complicated set-up of targets that I had to aim kunai at while dodging various attacks. Kisame was guarding the targets, and Itachi was throwing kunai at me while I tried to aim at the targets.  
After a series of similar complicated tasks, it was finally time to spar with Kisame.  
"You will stay in the clearing, and won't use the surrounding trees for shelter," Itachi said. _When I'm done, there might not be any trees left, _I thought. "The object will be to inflict injury on Kisame. You may use any means necessary, whether it be weapons, jutsu, or fist fighting," he finished, and Kisame smirked.  
"I don't recommend you try that last option," Kisame said. This smart remark made me want to land a punch even more.  
But I would finally be able to reveal my main jutsu. I'd worked for years to make it the best it could be, and I just knew that battling Kisame's water style jutsu, this would make for an interesting battle. Even if I was outranked.  
Itachi backed away from the sparring area, and stood by to observe.  
I performed a series of hand signs, and Kisame gave me a puzzled look.  
I was sure he recognized the type of jutsu I was about to use, although I had tried to move my hands quickly enough to make it unrecognizable.  
When I completed the hand signs, I moved my hands out in front of me, palms facing the ground.  
There was a grumble as the ground began to shift and crack, the earth responding to my control.  
Kisame jumped back and quickly began shifting through hand signs, I could tell he had resolved by now that it would probably work to fight my style jutsu with his own water style.  
Sure enough, water started to pour into the clearing. Kisame held it back, waiting to see what my first move would be.  
Working with mud was a little bit different than I expected, but I just resolved to compress it into rock.  
Moving the landscape around, I had my own wall of mud and rock to face off Kisame's wall of water.  
Both of us waiting for the other to make a move, I saw Kisame reach behind his back and pull out Sharkskin. I could tell by the grin on his face that he was thinking about how much he might actually enjoy this fight.  
I kept waiting for the right moment, perching on a rock slab that I had pulled up above my flood of earth, and in the suspense of the moment all of my emotions poured out. It finally struck me that he had left without me, that he had taken away my options and left me here alone with strangers.  
All of the anger surged through me, after the past few hours of shock which I had spent sitting alone and cold. Not to mention confused.  
I'm sure Kisame noticed this dramatic change, could feel the anger roiling in waves off of my back.  
And I moved first.

* * *

**A/N: Kk, I know some people hate cliffhangers. **

**But my chapters have been insanely long and I want them to be shorter and easier to swallow. **

**I'll update soon though, I just decided to break this chapter in half. **

**Besides, it's not like you have no idea what's going to happen next. **

**In the end, what if Kiana did find a way to go back home to Konoha? I'm struggling to decide, because she could either stick with Akatsuki, or try and find a way to get home and see her friends again. Which is why the last chapter was called torn, lol she is most definitely torn evenly between two things, does not love one more than the other, and must decide. I was originally thinking that the choice would be permanent, because in the manga it would be, she would probably never be able to return to Konoha. Plus, Akatsuki really wouldn't let her leave. It would be like, be an Akatsuki person or die. Since they have a hideout in my version, anyway. I guess in the real manga they don't really have a hideout to protect. **

**Well, if you have any ideas, feel free to post them! lol Sorry again for the long A/N, I'm a rambler, so I'll typically have long author's notes. Feel free to skip them, lol. **


	9. Epic Battle?

**A/N: I can't shake this feeling of wanting to start over and do something new, but I can't just leave this story hanging. Well, ha I guess that's just the blunt truth. However, I will pour myself into this story and follow it until the very end, no matter how badly I just want to start over. **

**Dedication: This story is dedicated to the people who have been there to support me instead, for once. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

My first move wasn't stealthy, or clever, or anything that might make me appear skilled to any shinobi who might be studying my battle movements.

I was glaring so fiercely I imagined Kisame bursting into flames as I sent a massive wave of rock and earth through the air towards his head. I pictured it to be Deidara's head, wanting only to smack him as I wondered what he was thinking, taking away my freedom of choice.

Kisame's wave of water met my wave of earth midair, and it became a battle of chakra strength, who could hold their end longer?

I knew Kisame was stronger than me, so I let the muddy earth fall back, and quickly made my perch rise up high above the wave surging towards me.

However, the base of my tower wasn't strong enough, and fear danced across my eyes for a moment, as I watched rock crumble beneath me.

It settled in my mind that I would have to surf, there would be no escaping the vast lake that was rapidly filling in around me.

Quickly pulling as many slabs of rock on top of the water as I could manage, I created a sort of free-moving dock out of the slab of earth that I was perching on.

Fashioning smaller sized, more efficient kunai out of rock with the chakra in my hand, I searched the surging water around me for Kisame.

He had disappeared in the waves, which were quickly building in height and intensity.

The water frothed around me as I searched, when I heard a subtle crack.

Spinning on my feet, I saw a jagged crack that went right beneath me.

Without time to think, I jumped to another rock slab. However, mid-jump I realized that there weren't many ledges for me to jump to. Pulling more rock sludge up from under the water, I flinched at the chakra this would cost me. It was harder to pull dirt up when there were hundreds of gallons of water to pull it through.

Finally having saved my own skin, I was able to focus once again on finding Kisame.

In the act of moving so much mud and earth at once, I had expended nearly all of my ferocity. Like screaming into a pillow or shredding notebook paper by hand, the action had used up all of the energy my anger brought forth. Throwing around big chunks of rock had just rid me of my anger faster because I used up tons of energy at once.

Now, however, I was focused on the hunt. I felt like a small, helpless fish stranded in the middle of the ocean; the water had overtaken what had always been my advantage, the control over the landscape. And there was a big shark out there, waiting to swallow me up. He was probably laughing, too, because my cocky overconfidence at the start of the battle had been killed so quickly.

Starting to lose hope, I heard another crack, and this time I couldn't jump fast enough before I splashed onto the water.

However, as a subconscious habit, I just landed on the water and stood there, blinking for a second.

_Wait, agh! Stupid, stupid, STUPID!!! I wasted all that energy, ugh, no duh, I can walk on water! How could I forget something like that?!_

I was so frustrated again, but at myself now. I had lost control of my emotions, provoking Kisame into full out flooding the area, if I hadn't challenged him with a wave of earth, he might not have started out with his water technique. And now, I had wasted chakra to pull a slab of earth from beneath the water; I had been so used to fighting on the ground that I had forgotten I could walk on water.

And as all that frustration rushed through me, I became completely lost in my own failure.

With my guard down, it took about two seconds for Kisame to rise out of the water beneath me and once again I found myself in a choke hold, complete with the stupid kunai.

_Great, now Itachi probably thinks I suck too. _

The water swished away, and I don't know where it went but it all went somewhere because I soon found myself standing back in the clearing. The trees were all bent out of shape and scraps of the aftermath lay on the ground, soaked.

We just stood there, man-shark and emotionally distraught teenager, and everything was still going wrong.

From the moment I got it in my head that I would leave home, everything had gone wrong.

From my friendships, my relationship with my mother, to Deidara, and all those times I had fallen, left to lick my wounds while life moved on around me. Or worse, sat and whimpered while the ones around me were forced to care for me when I couldn't take care of myself.

Once again, I was caught in the web of lies I had surrounded myself with.

_Who am I kidding, I'm not Akatsuki material! I would've been lucky to get to ANBU._

Still lost in my doubts, I was barely conscious of Itachi telling me he had seen enough, subtly hinting that he had noticed that what he had seen was not my ability, but just a show of emotion. However, I didn't think I would get a second chance to prove that I could be better. Having lost control of my emotions once, there was no was to say that it wouldn't happen again, on a real mission.

We returned to the big, empty building after that and I spent the day in my room, painfully playing reruns of the duel in my head.

_I wonder what'll happen to me next…_ I thought, since it was clear I probably couldn't do any good out on missions with the other Akatsuki members.

Itachi didn't come back to my room again that afternoon, and I waited and waited but I never heard the soft footsteps outside my door that would come to tell me my fate.

Late into the evening, I gave up waiting and drifted off to sleep, dreaming of full moons and clover.

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**A/N: Ok, I'm sorry, I meant to get this chapter out awhile ago but life got busy and changes happened and I had a hard time getting in the mood to wrap up the last paragraphs of this chapter in the past week or so. But school has started back up after break, I've adjusted to things, and I can write again now. **

**And if there are any die-hard Deidara fans out there that are going, "wtf?? what happened to deidara?" don't worry, he's not gone for good. I have plans for this story, for once, and I can't wait to finish it up. **

**But first, Kiana has to overcome this rut she's stuck in. **

**PS: I feel like I've read and reread for mistakes, but have still missed something. If this chapter has problems, please feel free to point them out. **


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